Radical Healthcare

When the Radical Experiment started and I was thinking about ways I could save money and give more I was rather limited but did the best I thought I knew how. It's almost November but I'm still constantly trying to think of ways to save (and give).

 

A few weeks ago I was researching individual insurance plans for a client. The client is a doctor and it was cheaper for him to drop his wife off his group insurance and have her get an individual HSA policy through Blue Cross so I was assisting her with that. I discovered how "cheap" individual plans are versus what our group policy premiums. She is in her 50's and the premiums were still 1/2 of what my group premium is.

 

Fast forward to last week, October is the month our office completes our "Flexible Spending Plan" form. I tend to be more book smart then practical. I KNEW we had a cafeteria plan and I KNOW what a cafeteria plan is but I just never put the two together because, well, I'm not a client of mine. FYI - With a cafeteria plan you agree to have your salary reduced by a certain amount to cover insurance, HSA, or dependant care expenses (evaluated on an annual basis). It's pre-tax money. My employer increases our salary by the amount of insurance so they are paying for our insurance, IF we want it. There was a question as to whether or not the company would pay for the total health insurance premiums since premiums were going up significantly.

 

This brought back to mind the client I had just helped with insurance so I confirmed that yes, I can drop my group insurance and get an individual plan on my own and get that extra money in cash. I would, of course, have to pay taxes on the amount but I would still come out way ahead. The cool thing is I could still contribute to the pre-tax Health Savings Account. I did the number crunching (cause well I love to crunch numbers) and yes, mom, it did turn into an Excel spreadsheet, and determined that my after tax "savings" (after paying the new premium) was $300 a month!!

 

Next I had to compare the plans....well, that was the tough part because the plans are not 100% the same and yes I would be giving up coverage but for the most part it wasn't coverage I anticipated needing so it was a risk I felt somewhat comfortable taking.

 

Finally, when I went to apply for the individual policy there was a notice that said that coverage and rates would increase in January due to all the Obamacare stuff. Another hurdle. However, at that point I had fully accepted that this was a blessing from God and that He would provide for my health care needs and if the premiums went up a little, oh well.

 

Praise God for this blessing! Let me encourage you to review ALL areas in your life for possible savings, too. Who knew I could be radical with health insurance??!!

 

 

GPS

Nothing exciting to report from GPS last night but I like to be consistent so I will go ahead and post about it. Only 2 weeks left and then we will have a panel discussion for the final one (3 total). I can't believe it's almost over!!! I really need to get my act together and get the CPR certification and get my finger prints done!

 

Last night we discussed helping children connect with their birth parents. As the saying goes, "I can talk bad about the people I love but YOU can't," you really have to watch what you say about a foster child's parents. No matter how bad their home life is/was their parents are still a part of their identity and if you talk bad about their parents they feel like you are really talking bad about them personally. Also you need to be sensitive to their cultural differences and traditions and learn how to cook things they like, fix their hair if it's different than yours, etc. This helps them keep their identity versus you trying to mold them to be like you.

 

Another interesting discussion was about a child's "fantasy" birth parents. An example was a 10 year old in a foster home with a 13 year old boy. The 10 year old tells the 13 year old that his real dad plays for the Titans and they can get tickets to go to a game sometime even though his dad is really in jail. When the 13 year old excitedly tells his dad this news, how should the dad respond? The dad knows the foster child's dad is in jail and the boy is lying. Some might think the kid needs to be disciplined for lying. Some might correct the child in front of their son causing the boy to argue that his dad really is a football player. The best way to handle it is to take the boy aside and remind him that his dad is in jail. He doesn't have to have a famous dad to be accepted. They loved him regardless of who his dad is.

 

Anyway, that was just an interesting analogy to me. Every time we talk about different scenarios I think, wow, what would I do in this situation had I not been in training. I hope I wouldn't discipline that child or correct him in front of the other boy but sometimes you act without thinking, ya know.

 

That's about it for this week's GPS update.

 

 

Ministering to Your Neighbors

I am the first to admit that I'm not currently involved in any official local mission iniatives. Having young dogs that need lots of exercise and attention is a lot more responsibility than having a 15 year old, 5 lb. dog! Side note: If you aren't prepared to give a pet the exercise and attention it deserves than do it a favor and resist the temptation to adopt a puppy just because it's cute. I spend a lot of my "free" time walking my dogs in my neighborhood and visiting with various neighbors and I really enjoy it. It's relaxing.

 

I usually stop and let the kids in my neighborhood play with Roscoe and Peaches. I want my dogs to be good around kids so this time is great for the kids and for the dogs. Peaches LOVES these kids which is amazing because Shrimp hated people...especially kids! Peaches chases them, licks them to death, and jumps all over them. She (and the kids) are in heaven. There is a single mom with two sweet kids that have really taken to Peaches. They liked Roscoe when he was a puppy but they were a little intimidated when he got bigger (they are fine with him now). I've gotten to know them better in the last month or two. Her son even told her this weekend that he didn't want to move because he didn't want to be far away from Peaches. He literally RUNS to her when we are out walking screaming, "Peaches" at the top of his lungs.

 

There is also a family with 3 kids. One of the kids is from a previous marriage. His mom lives in Kentucky so he is living with his dad and step mom and I believe the other two kids are the husband and wives' shared kids. I sense this little guy (maybe age 9) is really lacking attention and is feeling a little displaced living with dad and step mom.

 

Over the past 5-6 weeks that I've had Peaches he has been warming up to me. This week he asked his dad or step mom if he can walk Peaches (with me and Roscoe) a few times. At first I was like, "really, why can't I just quietly walk at my own pace without this tagalong who I am constantly having to tell to get out of the road when a car is coming!" But the things he's been sharing with me is letting me know that he just really needs someone to talk to. He was held back from whatever grade he's in. He made horrible grades last year but now is doing good (since it's a repeated year I would hope so). He needs to be praised for doing a good job. He wants to work at a pet store when he grows up but doesn't want to own it or manage it because "he doesn't think he could do it." Poor guy has such a low self esteem.

 

I just couldn't imagine being 9 years old living with my dad, his new wife and THEIR kids while my mom is 2 states away. So I've decided that I've got to be there for this kid. I've got to ask him about his school and encourage him and build up his self esteem. Kids always let their guard down when animals are around and he clearly feels comfortable around me. One night this week his step brother wanted to walk with us so of course I had to tell them that they had to take turns walking Peaches and I could tell that he did NOT like having to share that time with him. (I won't let them walk Roscoe since he's so big and pulls on the leash so they can only walk Peaches).

 

I don't know if or when I will ask his dad if I can bring him to church with me but I do feel like he was placed in my life at this time for a reason and I pray I am open to whatever God calls me to do even if it means I can't enjoy a peaceful walk with my dogs or spend a Friday night taking him for ice cream or something. It's funny because I have never liked boys (kids) except John Jr. the boy I babysat for several years but God keeps placing little boys in my life lately that have stolen my heart.

=

Stranger

Stranger by Mandi Mapes

just another day in a beautiful town where money makes the world go round caught in a place where no matter what I do I feel let down 'cause I keep chasing all these funny things that don't even matter in the end  this world is not my home I am a stranger in this country Jesus in me won't You pour me out I'm ready to abandon all my shiny things my family, and this American dream, Lord come take it all from me until there's nothing left but You  Lord, open my eyes that I may see the brevity of my life may Your Word tear down my sinful heart and fill me with new desires by Your Spirit I will live for You and love You with all my soul so have Your way in me and let Your kingdom come

© 2009 Mandi Mapes

GPS

Just in case you were wondering what all is required for fostering, here's a breakdown of the items I have completed and what is pending:

 

Copy of birth certificate

Copy of homeowner's insurance

Copy of SS card

Copy of Drivers license

Copy of car insurance

Monthly budget

Physical/TB test

Copy of home emergency plan

Application

Questionnaire

 

My pending items:

Finger printing

FBI background check

CPR certification

Water safety class (if you plan to take the child swimming, which I will)

Completed GPS class (I'm 1/2 way there!)

Homestudy (with a list of things they will look at at your house)

 

I may be missing something but that's the gist of it. There are a lot of steps.

 

Last night at GPS we talked about how to handle a child's behavior. You can't spank a foster child so they talked about 15 ways to handle a child's bad behavior, such as time out, grounding, reinforce good behavior, etc. The main reason you can't spank a foster child is because many of them come from abusive homes and they can't distinguish abuse versus punishment. It wasn't the most exciting class, but I am still enjoying the class each week. Most parents never take a class on parenting so I sort of feel this is a good preparation for me not just with fostering but if and when I have children and in the way I interact with my nieces and friend's children.

 

One of leaders talked about two twin teenage girls that were in her home whose mother always told one of the twins she was the prettiest and the smartest and of course she got a big head and rubbed it in the other sister's face. The other sister had a very low self esteem and even though she was attractive, too, she did terrible in school because she never felt good enough. The lady who fostered them tried so hard to work with her and build her self esteem. I'm praying about whether or not I would take a teenager into my home. I don't think I can handle a teenager that needed a lot of discipline but one that just needed to hear she was beautiful and smart would be fine. I'm trying to be as open as possible, yet knowing my limits. The Lord only knows what children is going to be best suited for my home. We'll see.

 

After GPS I was watching Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice and on Private Practice one of the guys died last season and then his daughter's mother died too. A family member was keeping the daughter but then she didn't want the responsibility anymore so she dumped her off at the practice. Everyone knew they should take care of his daughter but no one was willing to step up to the plate to adopt her so then the "people mover" (from a child's perspective this is who the Social Worker is) came to take her. I have had a heard time grasping how children get in foster care because if you have family and friends surely someone is going to take your children. I know I would adopt my nieces in a heart beat if needed and I would go so far as to say that I would take my closest girl friend's children in, as well, if needed. So it's just really hard for me to comprehend that there are people out there that don't have that kind of support. Heartbreaking.

 

It's kind of exciting to go through this process and not having a clue what will come of it. I'm just being obedient to God's call to care for children in need but I have no clue what that is going to look like in my life.

 

 

GPS #4

Last night in GPS we learned about attachments. We learned that when a child comes into your home and misses their families, etc that is a good thing. It means they have learned to attach to people (ie, trust) and it means they can also attach to you (this is not the case for all children). When children don't form healthy attachments early on they have a hard time ever learning to attach so it's really a good thing if they come into your home and they miss home. You have to encourage them and let them know what they are feeling is ok. They will eventually form new attachments (if they aren't going back to their birth parents, that is).

 

Basically to help a child "attach" to you you just need to spend time with them, play games, bake cookies, go for walks, brush their hair, etc. But it of course takes time. Our awesome social worker recently learned some techniques to work with children that have not formed healthy attachments that can even be used on mission trips and she might be going on the same trip to Guatemala with me. I'm praying that she does. I would love to help her do these exercises with some of the children there that I could tell have not been nurtured and have not formed healthy attachments. This could be some of  God's "something bigger" plans for my Guatemala trip being postponed?!?!

 

I am so thankful that I am taking the GPS class with the Alabama Baptist Children's Home because they are really giving us the good, bad and ugly of foster care. Apparently not all GPS classes tell you about all the problems you will encounter. They sugar coat it. If you envision a happy, issue-free child eagerly coming into your home that just can't wait to be a part of your family you are not getting the full story, that is for sure!

 

Some thoughts on fostering that have been crossing my mind over the past week -

 

1. How often do I want the child to come stay with me? (every other weekend, one weekend a month, etc)

2. If the child and I have bonded well would I be open to having him or her stay full time if ABCH or DHR provided after school care?

3. If the child wasn't reunited with their birth parents (which is the goal in foster care) would I be open to adopting them?

 

I really have no clue what will come of this foster training. I'm pretty much giving God a blank check on it, though. I'm entertaining different scenarios simply to prepare myself for what He may have planned but the truth is I'm clueless. I know I want to adopt but I've always been opposed to adopting a child whose birth parents are alive (especially in the US) BUT what God wants and what I want are not always the same. So that third question is key, would I be willing to step up to the plate for a child in need if their parents were unable to care for them....not for a weekend, but for the rest of their lives? If foster children don't have immediate relatives to care for them then their foster parents truly are the best candidates, in my opinion, to care for them. The answer has to be yes. If God places that child in my life with those circumstances I have to remind myself that I am giving Him a blank check.

 

Ok, so that's my foster care update for the week....

 

 

Goodbye Old, Hello New!

I don't have anything particularly profound to say but I'm just really excited we have finally arrived at the New Testament in the Bible Reading Plan. For years I have attempted to read the Bible in a year and never make it past Exodus so to be in Matthew is quite a personal accomplishment. I have learned SOO much this year. I have to admit it was a struggle to get through some of the Old Testament reading. Then on Sundays David has always found a way to make it interesting and ALWAYS point to Christ which has been very fascinating.

 

I love reading as a faith family and hearing and reading the wonderful story of redemption unfold. We are so fortunate to be able to walk through this together this year. What on earth can we do in 2011 that can "top" this? No telling!

 

Goodbye Exodus. Goodbye Leviticus. Goodbye Job. Goodbye Lamentations.

Hello Matthew. Hello Mark. Hello Luke. Hello John.

 

HELLO JESUS!!!!

 

The God We Praise

I LOVE being in TCABH's choir. I sometimes complain about rehearsal on Wednesdays and the Sundays we sing having to be there for all 3 services BUT I really do love it. I'm just a home body so I'm always going to complain when I'm not at home with my babies. Side note: If I'm this bad with my fur babies, just think how bad I will be with kids. Maybe I will be blessed and can stay at home full time!?!?!

 

Anywho, our worship team is so talented and they write a lot of the music we sing. I rushed back from the Southern Baptist Convention back in June so I could be a part of our first original music CD project, "The God We Praise." The songs are recorded to sound "congregational." From the samples it really does sound like they recorded us singing on a Sunday morning but really what we did was we sang the songs in "parts" and then sang melody and they overlapped the two recordings. Sneaky, huh! We are launching the CD tomorrow night at church and it will be available on itunes starting at midnight tonight. Check it out at www.thegodwepraise.com. Be sure to read the lyrics and listen to the song bios! My favorite is our church's "anthem" "We Are the Body of Chirst." But there are 11 runner ups cause they are all good!

 

 

Guatemale Has Been Postponed

Just in case you don't know already my Guatemala trip in December has been canceled. The pastor we work with down there said it wasn't a good week (between Christmas and New Years) because they do a lot of celebrating and Tabitha House will be closed too. Dad and I will plan to go in May or June of next year.

 

I'm sad that I won't be going back this calendar year and have to wait even longer to see sweet Jefferson and James but I know that God has a better plan in store. The good news is I have the money for the trip so I won't have to do any fundraising for it! The bad news is I REALLY want to go to Africa next summer and I'm not sure I will be able to take that much time off (1 week for GUA and 2 for Africa).

 

Since I have some extra vacation days this year (since I'm not going to GUA) I will be taking some time off at Thanksgiving to spend with family. My mom and I are going on a 3 night cruise and then I will be in Jacksonville for 6 days!!! I can't wait to be a bum on the boat for 3 days and then come back and bundle up and take Roscoe to the beach to play!!! My sweet dad will be taking care of Roscoe and Peaches while we set sail. I am so thankful for these past several years of being single and being able to travel with my parents. Not everyone is fortunate enough to do that so I am counting my blessings. If I had (human) children I'm sure I would not have the time or money to do that. 
Can't wait to go to Guatemala with my dad next year, too! We may be there for his birthday, too!!!

 

GPS #3

Went to my second GPS class last night (but it was the 3rd class). We talked about losses and the different stages of grieving. An analogy that was given about what a foster child experiences when they are taken from their family is a divorce when one of the spouses did not want the divorce. The former spouse is still alive, they just aren't a part of their life anymore but there's still hope that they will be reunited. Unlike death where one gets complete closure, foster kids generally have birth parents that are alive. They are just in rehab, jail, or somewhere else. Another analogy was hurricane Katrina victims who lost everything in a days time. When children go into foster care they immediately lose their parents, siblings, homes, toys, clothes, neighbors, school, friends; everything. Most of them are fearful, many want to sleep with a night light on.

 

A couple of people that I admire told me I should go through the foster training even if I didn't ever foster a child if I was considering adoption, which I of course am. I understand now why they said that. Sometimes I wish I had been a psychology major and even wish I had been a social worker because I really enjoy learning and trying to understand behavior. It's a lot easier to be compassionate to a child when you understand where they are coming from. Sort of like in Guatemala when I was holding and loving on dirty smelly babies. If I did not understand the reason they were dirty and smelly (they live in a dump) it would be harder for me to accept them that way. Same with foster children.

Last night during class my mom's friend who is a travel agent called me while I was in class because I was booking a mini vacay for my mom and I. I sent her an email letting her know I was in a foster training class and couldn't talk. Come to find out her mother fostered 92 children. WOW! I imagine she had foster siblings growing up and I'm anxious to hear her stories. I know I want to foster while I'm single but if I ever get married and have kids I am not 100% sure whether or not I will foster so it will be good to hear some stories from her perspective. If I hadn't been booking a vacation with her and if she hadn't called then I might not have ever made the connection. Only God can orchestrate that kind of thing!

 

I have a mountain of paperwork to complete for fostering but I'm excited to have the process underway!