GPS #4

Last night in GPS we learned about attachments. We learned that when a child comes into your home and misses their families, etc that is a good thing. It means they have learned to attach to people (ie, trust) and it means they can also attach to you (this is not the case for all children). When children don't form healthy attachments early on they have a hard time ever learning to attach so it's really a good thing if they come into your home and they miss home. You have to encourage them and let them know what they are feeling is ok. They will eventually form new attachments (if they aren't going back to their birth parents, that is).

 

Basically to help a child "attach" to you you just need to spend time with them, play games, bake cookies, go for walks, brush their hair, etc. But it of course takes time. Our awesome social worker recently learned some techniques to work with children that have not formed healthy attachments that can even be used on mission trips and she might be going on the same trip to Guatemala with me. I'm praying that she does. I would love to help her do these exercises with some of the children there that I could tell have not been nurtured and have not formed healthy attachments. This could be some of  God's "something bigger" plans for my Guatemala trip being postponed?!?!

 

I am so thankful that I am taking the GPS class with the Alabama Baptist Children's Home because they are really giving us the good, bad and ugly of foster care. Apparently not all GPS classes tell you about all the problems you will encounter. They sugar coat it. If you envision a happy, issue-free child eagerly coming into your home that just can't wait to be a part of your family you are not getting the full story, that is for sure!

 

Some thoughts on fostering that have been crossing my mind over the past week -

 

1. How often do I want the child to come stay with me? (every other weekend, one weekend a month, etc)

2. If the child and I have bonded well would I be open to having him or her stay full time if ABCH or DHR provided after school care?

3. If the child wasn't reunited with their birth parents (which is the goal in foster care) would I be open to adopting them?

 

I really have no clue what will come of this foster training. I'm pretty much giving God a blank check on it, though. I'm entertaining different scenarios simply to prepare myself for what He may have planned but the truth is I'm clueless. I know I want to adopt but I've always been opposed to adopting a child whose birth parents are alive (especially in the US) BUT what God wants and what I want are not always the same. So that third question is key, would I be willing to step up to the plate for a child in need if their parents were unable to care for them....not for a weekend, but for the rest of their lives? If foster children don't have immediate relatives to care for them then their foster parents truly are the best candidates, in my opinion, to care for them. The answer has to be yes. If God places that child in my life with those circumstances I have to remind myself that I am giving Him a blank check.

 

Ok, so that's my foster care update for the week....